Blah day.

I work retail.  sporteve (yes, the "s" is lower-case, and the name is italicized - it's just how we roll) is a women's athletics store - we carry gear for almost every sport (besides the ones with balls) from swimming and triathlon to hiking and yoga.  It's an amazing place, and I love the people I work with.  It's also in Culver City, which is great - fabulous restaurants, an amazing pool - it's just a wonderful place to be.  

However, today was one of those days that I just wanted to be outside and play. I didn't get my morning swim in, as my other job (which is theatre, thank God, or else I'd go crazy) involved me waking up at 5:00am to edit some bios, which turned into more bios, which turned into "oh crap, I'm late for work!"

I think I'm reverting back to being 5. All I want to do these days is play.  I want to run around, swim in the ocean, or play volleyball (which would be so embarrassing that the ball itself would shake it's head at me in pity). Now I understand why people tell you to take some time off after college, that you will be working for the rest of your life.  I kind of wish I had done that a bit more, just so I could...well...play all the damn time. However, I know that in theatre, I will have plenty of time to be unemployed and back to being a student. 

Now, I have a 1 hour ride on the stationary trainer. 

Then, more bios. 

BLECH.

UPDATE: Moment of Progress #3

Ok, so the trainer ride didn't happen. Today turned into an accidental off-day, just because I woke up so early, worked all day (literally 15 hours) and now would be the time to get on the trainer, when I have to wake up at 5:45 to bike to swim, swim, bike to work, run, bike home...it's just too much.

But the moment of progress is - when I used to feel guilty for skipping a workout, or overly "it's ok" about it - today, my body and soul just says, "Not ok." While of course, life happens, and to be working out until 11:30pm doesn't seem adviseable today, skipping workouts actually feels uncomfortable. Not because of guilt, but because I am finally starting to take myself seriously.  It's not that I feel I am disrespecting my coach, or that I "should do it" because I'm supposed to, but (FINALLY) I am starting, very slowly, to think of myself as an athlete.  If I skipped rehearsal every time I got too busy, the show wouldn't happen. So, while I am honoring my body and hard work day today, I feel a change in attitude coming on that is immensely satisfying - that my body (and race day) deserves the workouts, and that I am depriving myself of something if I don't do them.